Not really family

Why can’t you just let me be?

I am tired of you trying to change me.

You make fun of me for the things I say,

And you only want me to follow your way.

You keep me locked up and expect I won’t be upset,

Now it’s apparent that you didn’t like me when we met.

You are slowly driving me insane by keeping me here,

And I know that there isn’t anything for me back home there.

But I miss my home, my friends and my life in general.

I just can’t pretend that none of it happened at all.

I don’t fit in here as you can tell from my nonexistent friends,

I am rapidly changing as my self esteem descends.

I feel left out and I am tired of being ignored,

I have grown tired of this life in fact I am bored.

Why do I have to change completely?

Why can’t I just keep part of me?

Why do you have to change everything?

Just leave me with something.

The wrong type

Tell me why is it women always like assholes?

Why is it only the jerks that speak to our souls?

Why can’t we give the good guys a chance?

Because obviously the bad ones don’t know anything about romance.

Why is it all girls like bad boys?

These are the same men that continue to treat us like toys.

They make you feel like you aren’t worth shit,

And still by their sides do we sit.

We all say we can change these men,

But the truth is they will stay the same to the end.

It is in our nature to this challenge chase,

But we should have learned by now this attitude is not a phase.

Why do we bother hoping for the best?

It wasn’t our job to clean up this mess.

From the beginning they were bad boys for life,

And don’t think that’s going to change because now your name is wife.

If a guy is an asshole that’s how he shall remain,

And the fact of the matter is all men are the same.

No matter where you look you will find bad in all,

But just hope it’s for the lesser of the evil that you fall

Temptation

Crystal eyes that I stare through to see what you desire in your soul,

Succulent lips that draw me to see what taste they behold.

Innocent smile that dares me to come near,

Enticing abs that I desire to touch without any fear.

Each time I look at you I am tempted to do the action I promised I would not,

I just can’t help myself I want you a lot?

I just want to feel your body against mine,

And if you are rough that will be just fine.

This action I dared not do until I was married,

You urge me to release this burden of temptation that I have so long carried.

I now give you this gift that I have kept well guarded,

But I hope you know what you have just started.

If you didn't know

The first time we met I wanted you but you were taken,

So I buried my feelings not knowing that soon they would awaken.

I pretended that I considered you only a friend and that my feelings were not there,

But if you had taken a good look at me you would have seen I really did care.

When I thought of you with someone else I felt so jealous and wished it was me,

But in the back of my mind I thought there is no way this could possibly be.

What a shock it was when this fantasy became true,

I couldn’t believe I was really with you.

This dream I have had for long was now real,

I thought I was hearing things when you said the way I felt is the way you feel.

I loved you then and I love you still,

And I promise that I always will.

Paradise

If I could picture the perfect paradise,

I know it would be laying on the beach staring into your eyes.

You holding me in your arms and never letting go,

On our own little island that no one would know.

Just me and you alone basking in the warmth of the sunset,

A place so guarded by nature’s barriers that no one could get.

You kissing me tenderly each second of the day,

Not a word will be spoken because we will have nothing to say.

Our bodies will speak for us so we will know what the other requires,

Living each day fulfilling our deepest desires.

Our love would be more filling than any food could be,

And we would spend each day making love by the sea.

Are you real?

Am I dreaming or are you real?

I never know until I met you how love did feel.

You are everything I ever wanted so you must be a hallucination,

Are you really just a figment of my imagination?

Could it be that fate has decided to be so kind?

Are you truly mine?

If you are a dream I never want to awake?

Because losing you is a risk I never want to take.

I can’t believe you are real, someone this wonderful I don’t deserve,

Your love so precious I will forever cherish so that it will always preserve.

I have pinched myself so many times so it must be true,

So I am really glad that I have you.

Why i will never leave

Kisses that make you feel that you are as light as air,

A funny feeling that you always want to be there.

A bright smile that lights up the place,

An elephant’s memory that a moment will never erase.

A tender embrace from which you never want to escape,

An eternal love that will always be special in any form or shape.

You are the kind of person I always envisioned I would stay with for life.

And I hope in the future you can see me as your wife.

Pure honesty

For awhile I used to wonder what it would be like to be with you

And now that daydream has finally come true.

You said you felt the same way and that you wanted to be with me,

But it wasn’t as if your feelings were so open that I could see.

I could always tell there was something special about you but I can’t tell what it is,

All I know is when I leave you are one person I will surely miss.

The day you asked me to be your girlfriend was one of the most memorable moments of my life

And hopefully if destiny permits another one will be the day I become your wife.

I know we haven’t been together for too long,

But I think if we weren’t together everything would be considered wrong.

For now I will leave our relationship to fate and hope that everything will be alright,

But the least I can do is try with all of my might.

I know it may be a bit too early but I don’t like to hide the way I feel

And I hope you will believe me when I say everything I say is real.

I like to express the way I feel and I hate to lie,

And I am not a person you can consider to be shy.

So I will just be honest and I say I love you

And I hope in time you will eventually love me too

Angel

Eyes so crystal blue that not even the ocean can compare,

And everyone can’t help but to want to sit and stare.

Lips so red that it looks as if they were covered in blood,

Skin so perfect that nothing could destroy its radiance even if covered in mud.

A symmetrical nose and ears that no one can say are too big or too small,

Perfect body structure that doesn’t make you look too short or too tall.

This can only be the description of an angel because no one on earth can be this perfect

But just because you don’t look like this doesn’t mean you are a defect.

My Perfect Man

My perfect man is intelligent and well schooled

So there is no way that he will be easily fooled.

He has a great sense of humor and loves to smile,

But also has a forgiving soul like a child.

He is adventurous and loves to have a good time,

He is generous and is always kind.

He loves me unconditionally and would never cause me harm,

While he makes me love him more with his wonderful charm.

He does the right thing because he doesn’t believe in doing wrong,

He is courageous and able to protect me because he is strong.

He is always there for me during good times and bad,

And is able to cheer me up whenever I am sad.

He makes me feel loved and special everyday

And he truly is my perfect man in every way.

Breathless

The second I saw you my heart skipped a beat and I couldn’t breathe,

For this one moment I wished I truly didn’t have to leave.

You looked so sharp that day but what is different you always do,

Before this day I didn’t remember how fine you were but that second I knew.

As you held my hand and drew me closer I felt the warmth of comfort surrounding you,

I was entranced by your eyes so even if I didn’t want to there was nothing I could do.

You kissed me passionately with those luscious pink lips,

After this nothing could compare to this kiss.

As our lips slowly drifted away I felt total distress,

It seems as though you left me BREATHLESS.

My lips clung to yours another time so as to get some oxygen,

And I just continued to repeat this process over and over again.

I became addicted to you and I couldn’t live without your lips, I longed for their taste,

But eventually we separated from this tender embrace.

We began to gasp for breathe, this had truly been an endurance test,

Those passionate kisses from these blessed lips left me BREATHLESS.

I didnt mean to hurt you

I am sorry for the way I am making you feel.

I didn’t mean to make you feel my love for you wasn’t real.

I cared for you more than I possibly could for any other guy,

And I wish you didn’t have to ask why.

I am sorry for making those tears run from my eyes,

Please believe me when I say our relationship wasn’t built on lies.

I am sorry for as you said shattering your heart,

If I could I would repair it part by part.

I know you didn’t understand why I did the deed even though for you I still cared,

To be truthful I had wanted to do it before but to spare hurting your feelings I never dared.

Our friendship had upgraded to a relationship way too fast,

And I knew from the beginning that it would last.

I decided to spare you some of the misery and strife,

That would have come about when I left next year as you said the moment I ruin your life.

I hope someday you will be able to forgive me and we can be friends,

But until then my love for you is like a ring that never ends.

Hypothetically

If I said I wanted you back would you take me?

Or will you say that we being together again can never be?

I know you love me but would you believe that I love you too,

Or would you say that I am just saying this to pity you.

Would you believe me if I said I longed for your touch,

And that I have began to miss your kisses oh so much.

If I told you that I go crazy if I don’t talk to you but don’t want to be in a relationship,

Would you accept my hand in friendship?

If I told you that you were the best boyfriend I ever had and I don’t know what took over my

mind,

Would forgiveness be something that you would be able to find?

Well the answer to these questions doesn’t really matter because they are hypothetical

anyway,

But suppose I told you that I regretted breaking up with you every single day.

Never again

Apart for a month but it seemed like an eternity,

Back together for only a week because being together was not meant to be.

Two friendships ruined and a new one made,

I just hope the pain from losing two friends will eventually fade.

They have each other but there is no one to me console,

Not the pain but the memories are the things my heart will hold.

It’s my own fault but I can’t change the past,

But I should have known better than to believe our love would last.

A boyfriend and a bestfriend lost in one instance,

To be friends again I would pay millions for that chance.

I have learnt one thing never again to get so close,

To keep my distance from those I might care for is what I must do most.

I have learnt my lesson never again to one person care for.

From now until eternity the key will be kept far away from my heart’s door.

Who do you think you are?

What made you think you could play me like that?

Because trust me I am not your doormat.

You say you never genuinely liked me well that’s a fucking lie,

Because I can remember all the days I made your pussy ass cry.

I don’t know who you think you are but you certainly not the person I know,

Or is this your true side deciding to show.

I have never been your whore or anything else you are thinking in your head,

But trust me you are lucky because if I was in Jamaica you would be dead.

You said I am not the kind of person you usually date,

Well that information came a bit too late.

Remember that there are two people in a relationship,

So stop making it seem like I was standing over you with a whip.

I wasted ten months trying to work with your shit,

But I wouldn’t have done that if I knew your feelings weren’t legit.

I remember all those days when you told me you loved me,

Well if you didn’t really mean it then I guess you are right there never should have been a we.

I miss you

You may not think of me anymore,

But you shall always be someone I care for.

You were someone who could make my heart still,

You meant so much to me and you always will.

I loved you so much that it’s so hard to let go,

And it doesn’t seem to me this is something you know.

Do you not care how I feel at all?

It’s like you built between us a stone wall.

We used to communicate like we were telekinetic

And there was this draw like we were magnetic.

I can’t help the way I still feel about you,

But it’s like all your feelings out the window flew.

For awhile it seemed like you still care,

But I am starting to wonder were your feelings ever there.

Did you love me like you said you did?

Or were you just playing me like a silly little kid.

You were my world and I would have done anything for you,

And you promised that you would always love me too.

I told you, you would always hold a special place in my heart,

No matter how many miles we are apart.

Did you mean all those things you said?

Or was it all a pack of lies me you fed.

My love for you will never fade,

I will always thank God that you were made.

My dream man

As I wake up from my dream,

I am disappointed that nothing was as it did seem.

You weren’t here with me holding me close,

And knowledge of our love wasn’t something everyone knows.

As my mind lingered back to this thought of us again,

I just knew I couldn’t spend my life with any other men.

You were the one that I had been waiting for,

And I can’t wait to explore you even more.

I imagine the first moment we meet,

And I already know that you will sweep me off my feet.

You are my inspiration to enjoy life once more,

For you have broken down my heart’s sealed door.

There was no need to knock or use a key,

Every part knew you were meant for me.

My heart melts just at the thought of your touch,

And my desire to know you grows so much.

I can’t contain my feelings for you within these lines,

But this emotion already from my heart shines.

I see in you what I thought did not exist,

And I implore you do not me from your life ever dismiss.

Let go

Each time I hear your name my body begins to shake,

And these feelings I have for you are not something I fake.

I love you more with each passing moment

And I thank God because you truly are heaven sent.

When I first looked at you I saw this goofy kid

But I fell fir you I honestly did.

Each time you gave me that love filled look,

My whole breath from me you took.

You are afraid of me and I wish you weren’t,

I am not the girl who your heart burnt.

I don’t want to hurt you; I wish you could see that,

But you scurry away from me like a little kitty cat.

I wish you could let go and just be free

To enjoy and accept all that is me.

I want to love you and show you how wonderful life can be,

But first you have to let go and start trusting me.

Was everything a lie?

Was our love ever true?


Did you really want me to be your boo?


Were you lying when you said you loved me?


Will you ever tell the truth or is this how you will always be?


Did you care that I loved you with all of my heart and soul?


Is being your friend going to be my only role?


Am I supposed to be happy and not move on with my life?


Why did you fool me that someday I would be your wife?


Why did I care about you so much I don’t even know.


Is this the real you that is starting to show?


Is this the person I fell for?


Why is it these feelings refuse to leave my hearts core?


So tell me the truth, how do you really feel?



Was what you said you felt for me real?

Fantasy Guy

Where is my prince charming, the one that shall whisk me away,

And fight to protect me from harm each day?

Where is my Mr. Right that will do all the right things,

That every time he comes near my heart sings?

Where is my tall dark and handsome guy,

That makes me melt each time he walks by?

Where is my knight in shining armor on his great white steed,

Who will attend to everything I need?

Where is my Casanova,

that will make my heart spill over?

Where is my fantasy guy

That will make all the girls sigh?

How long do I have to wait before he is mine

And we can complete that perfect couple design?

How long do I have to wait before my mystery man appears

And I can stop making these loveless glares.

How long do I have to wait before this dream man is reality?

I guess I am just going to have to sit back and see.

Get this through your head

I am a Jamaican and that’s something I am proud to say,

But it really annoys me that people see us all in the same exact way.

They believe the stereotype of what is a Jamaican,

So I am going to break this down so you can all understand.

So many people ask me questions and they are each becoming a pest,

I have been asked a lot of things but I will state the stupidest.

Someone asked me if I have electricity or swing from trees,

Could someone tell me who comes up with these ideas please?

I know Bob Marley is a national icon,

But we don’t always end our sentences in the word mon.

No not all Jamaicans smoke weed or cannabis,

So could you all stop asking me where the best is?

Not every Jamaican has locks for hair,

Just because Bob Marley did doesn’t mean that so does everyone there.

We don’t have a special language that we speak which you wouldn’t understand,

We speak English and patois which is abbreviated English so trust me to speak it even you can.

Well I hope you now understand that not everything you hear is true,

But if you ask me another stupid question like these I will certainly ignore you.

Judged

All of my life I have thought I was just one big mistake,

Well I guess I was right because now I know I was never to have a birth date

Since I was a baby I have always been asked why I can’t write better,

Well it’s not my fault that’s just how my hand forms the letter.

Why can’t I walk straight I don’t know,

That’s just the way my feet decided to go.

Why can’t I eat proper like the others,

Well the only problem is it’s not me to bother,

Why do I talk so much, Why can’t I be silent,

Well as far as I know I use my voice for what it was meant.

I have always been a bit chubbier than the other girls and made fun of because of my weight,

It must be fun to destroy someone’s self-esteem at the age of eight.

No one ever had a crush on me because I wasn’t pretty enough,

So I had to pretend I had no emotions and act all tough.

Most of my friends were hypocrites and didn’t really like me at all,

But used me when they didn’t understand something it’s me they could call.

I am a very depressed girl and I pretend like I don’t care

But the pain from all their judgment s is always there.

I have one question to ask who gave them right to pass off their judgments on me,

Because I know no one’s perfect it’s just their own fault’s they can’t see.

Unrequited

How do I get you to pay attention to me?

Is my admiration of you something you can’t see?

How hard is it for you to realize I like you?

I sit here hopelessly wishing that you like me too.

I try to flirt with you in the usual way,

But you seem to ignore my advances each day.

Are you blind to the affection that I require,

It’s your gentle touch that I desire.

I think I am more interested in you than you are in me,

Or even worse than you than you will ever be.

You look at me like you do at any friend,

And this is not how I want things to end.

I want our relationship to mean something,

Why is it so hard for me to your heart win?

I want to care for you for all eternity,

But I can’t even get you to look at me.

I can’t help the way I feel about you,

And I hope in time you will feel this way too.

I just want to feel you near,

And forever every moment with you share.

I want to be your partner and share each burden or joy.

I am just tired of playing like I am coy.

I just want to let you know I want to be you girl,

And spend with you the rest of time I have left in this world

Why can’t I stop liking you?

Each time I think you are out of my mind,

These feelings in my heart I still find.

There is always something reminding me you exist,

And I can’t stay away no matter how much I want to resist.

I have this attraction to you that I can’t shake,

And each time you touch me I feel something new awake.

I keep hoping this is just a crush,

So that I will be able to get over you in a rush.

But I already know that it is something more,

And it’s you I am falling for.

I just want to spend as much time as I can with you,

Showing you that my feelings are true.

I don’t think I ever tried to get someone this bad,

And knowing that you don’t care makes me so sad.

I just want to get over you,

Because it seems like you will never want me as your boo.

I don’t understand why I want someone who doesn’t want me,

But I just have to realize that we will never be.

Broken

Will I ever be able to feel again?

These negative signals are not something I mean to send.

A lot of people think that I don’t care,

But pains from my past I constantly bear.

You can’t understand how I feel,

It’s not that easy to let down my shield.

On the outside I look perfectly content,

But you have no idea how many emotions in me are pent.

THEY both hurt me in their own way,

And who THEY are is not something I wish to say.

Just know THEY took away all my trust.

And that’s why I feel like my heart is about to bust.

THEY were supposed to protect me,

THEY were supposed to teach me what love could be.

I had no one to lean on and depend,

Because alone THEY left me to fend.

Alone in the darkness I learned not to care,

And my feelings now are harder to share.

They broke me into little pieces,

And now my search for love never ceases.

The only problem is it is hard for me to get near,

Since deep in my mind remains a constant fear.

That he will leave me like THEY did,

And then this grown woman will always stay a broken kid.

That controlling emotion

It’s a funny thing when people say they can’t control their actions,

But there really are times when we all have temporary mental distractions.

People say they get caught up in the heat of the moment,

And they don’t know where their minds had went.

But truly there is a part of them that wanted things to go this way,

But this will never be something you hear them say.

They try to pretend like they don’t know where these emotions came from,

Because it was deep in their subconscious where these thoughts did come.

Lust is an emotion that can make you do unspeakable things,

Even commit some unforgivable sins.

It engulfs your whole being at one time,

And the power to reserve yourself is something you cant find.

It makes you want and need what you shouldn’t,

And there are no things to do you wouldn’t.

It makes you give in to your immediate desires,

And its strength to control never tires.

It is never evident when lust will take control,

But in each relationship it will always plays a role.

My world without you

Here I am alone in the darkness of my life there is no smiling sun in the sky of my surrounding,

There are no happy children running around, no birds chirping nor any flowers blooming.

There is no happiness no love just sadness and pain in this world that is my solitary confinement,

I feel no emotion I am an empty heartless body whose life is filled only with torment.

My senses have become numb I no longer feel the joy of sensation,

I walk this desolate land without stopping because for me there is no more relaxation.

I know not the joy others feel from having another’s love and affection,

Only the pain of my loneliness from not having of someone to walk with me in happiness’ direction.

This is the world that shall come into existence without you in my life,

So please do me a favor and spare me this world of strife.

So-called Christians

Why do we who call ourselves Christians not always act in this way?

Isn’t do unto others as you would have them do unto you what the bible did say?

Why are these who were made equal by God putting down their fellowmen?

Wasn’t it so we could live in love and praise him for eternity why God his son did send?

So why is it we fight amongst each other and do not do his will?

Wasn’t one of the commandments thou shall not kill?

Why do we destroy God’s kingdom to which he left us to care?

Do they know that if we don’t care for these things they will not always be there?

Do they know that even though Jesus died for our sins we shouldn’t continue to commit them?

If you want to live good Christian lives read the commandments and obey all ten.

My Inner Child

I see a brown little girl with dark brown hair crying all alone,

Tears streaming down her face and the only thing to be heard is her moan.

I rush to comfort her but the faster I run the farther she seems to be,

She turns towards me and I stop in shock because a little me is what I see.

She says one sentence and I fall to the ground crying “I want someone to love me,”

A weight bears down on my heart, no one has really loved me and I wonder will there ever be.

She comes and sits in my lap now and I sit alone crying with my inner child,

I just pray that this feeling of loneliness will only be with me for a while.

Dream World

You were in my dream last night,

You had your arms around me holding me tight.

You had a look in your eyes of a lustful desire,

I don’t know if it was just me but I felt as though I was on fire.

The heat increased the longer our bodies were entwined,

For a second I thought this was how the world was truly designed.

Just me and you alone on this vast land,

Not a child nor woman nor another man.

Nothing could stop this intense gaze of which we were involved,

Not even if all our surroundings had dissolved.

Our lips grew closer and you kissed me with unspeakable passion,

And I don’t know why but I think we committed a sin of showing such affection in this fashion.

In this short instant that I thought was reality I awoke to find it had been nothing but a dream,

That moment was perfect though at least that’s the way things did seem.